So I finally got a haircut. And dyed my hair too.


But the process isn't complete. so i gotta head back to the salon next week to continue the bleaching/dying. sucks to have sensitive scalp.


so this is the most redundant post i've ever made. 


but hey, you get a photo of me.


the holidays are coming.


Oh and i have a test tomorrow. radio production. wish me luck. i'll probably need it. it's live, so it's gonna be significantly more terrifying.


Well, goodnight. gotta be up and ready for school in 4 hours.

i just can't deal with drama anymore. i just can't. i wish i wasn't just trying to be melodramatic here but i say this with utmost sincerity. im not usually this candor, but you people have gone too far. 


i'm fucking tired. i have assignments to do, presentations to prepare, i have to work to support myself, and my feet hurts like hell from training. i've had enough.


i've made it clear from the start i have no intentions of getting into a r/s any time soon.


i wasn't kidding.


i don't need my ex-boyfriend telling me how much he wants to get back tgt; i don't need my neighbour constantly updating every social network he's on about how his love for me isn't reciprocated; and i sure as hell don't need a call from an acquaintance every other day asking to have sex. 


if i say:


"i have work to do. i'm not ignoring you, i'm just busy"


i fucking mean that i'm busy and i don't mean to fucking ignore you.


so stop it. 


just, PLEASE, stop it. 


i have poured every ounce of love i had into my last r/s. it didn't turn out too well, and i became the bitter person i am now. so i'm tired, alright?


My chest pains are back, they hurt as hell, and all i want is a fucking glass of wine and a fucking cigarette. 


i'm sorry, but i'm just so tired.

since J's not in town, i'll just be drinking by my lonely self tonight. cheers to vodka! and dikta. 


i've never heard about dikta till i got my blackberry last year. their song 'Thank You' was already pre-installed in my phone's media folder when i purchased said phone but i never really bothered giving that song a listen. until a few days ago, that is. and.......... I LOVED IT. so now i have their album Get It Together on repeat. so my current musical muses are: Rachael Yamagata & Dikta.


if either of them come to singapore, i demand tickets to their show. hurhur.


btw the the vodka was sort-of-sponsored by E. so thanks E. the perks of working in a hostel eh :D


moving on~
.....


When cash is tight, what do you do?


suck dicks? or get a proper job?


if only that damnable bursary would just snuggle into my bank account tonight.


i can't even afford books now. much less training gear for taekwondo. no, i can barely feed myself with what i have in my savings. if the bursary amount doesn't come in by next week, i'm gonna have to get a part-time job :(
.....


i have yet to secure an interviewee for my Feature Article assignment. godammit why don't people reply emails on weekends
.....


it's been so warm these days. oh what i would do to move to another country. just to get away from all this fuckery. fuckery as in what i have made for myself during my 18 years of existence. i wanna start over. i want a fresh outlook on life. 
.....


godammit i didn't put enough ice in my drink. gonna get more now.
will probably delete this post since i don't really have any idea what i'm talking about. feeling a little woozy now. i'm such a loser teetotaler hurhur.

i've got interviews to set up, scripts to draft, and movie reviews to write.

yet here i am blogging and downloading music.

i need less distractions and more vodka.

hurhur.

who actually says "hurhur" anyway?

.....

i've been going for taekwondo every week. it's pretty awesome. no regrets... so far. hurhur.

.....

and i'm just typing down whatever pops up in my mind spontaneously. this is a terrible blog post. such poor quality. even though this blog is just an outlet for me to vent my frustrations and log specific events that happen in my life, i should at least make the posts of quality.

and can i just say how much i dislike the new blogger layout? just looking at these re-arranged buttons is too much to handle for this flimsy lump of meat i call a brain. so much for streamlining.

.....

"it's not where you're from, it's where you're at."

well it'll be a whole lot easier if you'd gotten a head-start.

btw this is a line from the very inspirational song Ali and the Jungle. check out the Nike commercial that featured this song. it's cool as shit.

.....

that's all for now. i've been so busy that time just flies by. if there was one thing i could wish for, i'd wish for more time. and more money, of course. hurhur.

adios~

to K.L.

you've changed for the better and you miss spending time with me?

well i've gotten worse. and i don't want to hear from you ever again.

p.s. today was bad enough and you just had to drag it further down the fucking shithole. thanks a lot.

.....

angst aside, (roar) i've been listening to rachael yamagata's Happenstance and Elephants... Teeth Sinking into Heart.

and im so bumped when i found out rachael actually came to singapore to perform in February. where the hell was i when i could have been sobbing along to brooding and bluesy heartbreaking songs at the Esplanade Concert Hall with my arms around equally grievous and distraught strangers.

nevermind that. anyway, i just adoreeeeee Teeth Sinking into Heart. But sadly there are only 5 songs on this half of the album. Not that i dislike the first half of the album though.

if rachael yamagata performs in singapore again, i won't miss it for sure >:)

.....

can i write about rachael yamagata again? no? oh nevermind then. moving on.

.....

i can't wait to start writing articles for my Feature Writing module. i need to get inspired. time for an outing with the classmates? oh right. i have to actually get closer to them first. good luck with that, socially awkward me.

27/4/2012

my brother will grow up to be sooo much better looking than me. with his thick lips, wavy hair, and double eyelids urgh

telling me im such a gem. how im so different from everyone else. yea that's probably why i dun have many friends.

.....

9/5/2012

things have changed. i'm different now. and quite negatively at that.

i almost fell in love again. too bad things didn't turn out the way i hoped it would. Z was an ugly fella. but he was nice. he was considerate, and i felt like i could be happy with him, despite his apparent childishness. maybe i took too long to reciprocate any possible feelings he could have had for me. or maybe he never did like me. maybe being nice is just in his nature.

regardless, it's over now. we're strangers from now on. i won't turn back. i hope i wouldn't. i'm already as pathetic as i can possibly get. i'm just glad i didn't fall in too deep this time. i'd learnt my lesson 3 years ago.

.....

R.I.P grandma. we might not be biologically related, and to be honest we really weren't that close, but i can't say i wasn't affected by your passing. i hope you're in a better place now.